It was only a matter of time until I heard this. You're either too fat or you're too skinny? But I'm not even a healthy weight yet? Are people that uncomfortable with the fact I'm taking control of my body?
Bah. it bugs me. Can't there be a positive response? You look great! You look GREAT! Isn't looking great better than fading away to a shadow?
Sigh. I exercised the other night. I did a zumba video for about an hour. I made the mistake of exercising with a mirror behind me. For those of you familiar with zumba you'll know there are all sorts of turns and jumps and fancy things like that. I shudder thinking about how I look exercising. I wasn't naked, haha. No, I was wearing a sports bra and shorts. But I could see my belly in all it's jiggly glory as I turned in a circle. Not pretty. It does make me more motivated to get rid of it, but knowing I've already lost so much weight...it makes me feel really ashamed about just how much more weight I was carrying.
I can remember last year, staying in this fancy Malaysian Hotel and catching a glimpse of myself naked in the mirror. I was horrified. You've just had a baby. You've just had a baby. You've just had a baby. They were the only words that made it ok. But to be honest, I can't blame pregnancy on the weight. I didn't gain that much during pregnancy. I was over weight to begin with. It's just a convenient excuse to say it was pregnancy. It was too much KFC, timtams and soft cheese.
So when I was told I was fading away to a shadow I said proudly that yes, I had lost weight, and I had another 10 kg to go. Shock! Horror! It was intentional! And another TEN kilos!? NO! You don't need to lose any more weight! yes....yes, I do....I saw the jiggly belly in the mirror. Just because you didn't see it jiggle doesn't mean it doesn't exist boss lady!
Off to zumba again...with a shirt on.
S.
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