Shop windows

I think I'm becoming vain. I keep assessing my silhouette when I'm out in public. Glancing sideways at my reflection as I walk through the shopping centre. I can see a difference! I found myself today, waiting at the doors to allow customers out of our store, staring at myself on the security monitor. Is that really me? I kept turning slightly to the side to see how I looked! Vainity!!

My trousers are falling off me. They are size 16 I think, and I would think I'm now a 12. But they were sliding down all day long and I was loving it. Even if it did make me look terribly unprofessional, having to get up and hike up my clothes haha.

My clothing isn't fitting right. My jeans need a belt. My trousers don't come close to staying up. My tight fitted shirts are baggy, especially around my bust. Why is it you lose weight off your bust but not your thighs? rude. I have people tell me on a daily  basis that they can see I'm losing weight. I am really appreciating hearing it. It makes it feel worthwhile. Like the effort is paying off. Though most people ask if it's because I can't eat due to the grief. No, thank you, this is effort right here. I'm working for this now. The crying off kilos has ended.

I'm down 11 kilos, four since the beginning of the 12wbt. I am earning a new wardrobe.....ooh. I so want to go shopping! I can't afford to. I have to remind myself that I'm a single parent and on a single income and I need to get ahead financially, not be buying pretty dresses....

But surely I need clothes that fit, right?  I remembered today that I get a bonus around Christmas time...which would be right around the end of the 12wbt. I've already done the majority of my Christmas shopping...this would be bonus money. Like a grand of bonus money. I've picked up extra hours since returning to work so financially I am better off on a fortnightly basis anyway. I don't need to put this money aside for anything. I've just paid my car registration for 12 months. I've paid off the Christmas laybys, only a few dollars left on them to collect. All the bills so far are up to date.....I really want to get a new wardrobe...shirts, skirts, underwear...outfits that FIT me.

A thousand dollars would go a LONG way to fitting me out right? Keeping in mind I need a lot of things...I've not bought myself new clothes for a long time. I think the last thing I bought was a pretty emerald green top that is now just huge on me. It was like $10 and that was a splurge.... A grand?? really? But then I think how much underwear costs. And bras? Ugh! Why does being a woman mean spending so much money! And I'd like some dresses to wear over summer and nothing I have now will fit properly.... Singlets, since I wear them all year round...jeans, jeans are expensive...I'd love some accessories...

I want to reinvent myself. And gosh darn it I acheived 180% of my target at work so I've earnt this bonus! 

I might have to stop looking at my reflection and a bit more at the clothing instead....

ooh...retail therapy I love you!

S. xo